With Valentine’s Day coming up there is a lot of talk about relationships versus being single.I think society has a skewed and idealistic vision of love and relationships.
We believe that we have a “soul mate” who is out there somewhere and that when we meet them, suddenly we will fall in love and everything in our life will be better.
I have to admit I used to think like that. I used to view my singleness in a negative way. I thought about the fact that my kids might resent me, about being left out of things only married people do, etc. But as I continue to walk on this amazing journey with the Lord I’ve realized there’s no such thing in the world, or no such person in the world that can “complete” us. In fact, to put that kind of responsibility on someone, to think that we will meet someone who is responsible for making us happy, is pretty much unfair.
God is the ONLY one that can satisfy our souls, and to think that someone else can come in and take that place or “save” you if you are unhappy in your singleness, well I hate to tell you that you might be disappointed if you get married for that purpose only.
I have learned to see my singleness as a gift. A lot of my friends are married, and although I think that is wonderful, I enjoy being able to serve God in this season of my singleness. I am able to help and serve in ways that my married friends cannot because they have a responsibility to their husband or wife.
I love my singleness because it allows me to serve with fewer restrictions. Singleness allows us the opportunity to just go when we need to in order to advance the Kingdom. It has also allowed me to be free of distractions and focus more of my time on God. I love singleness because I have fallen in love with the Lord in this season of my life.
In Corinthians 7:32-35 Paul talks about singleness. He elevates and encourages singleness: (The Message)
“I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.”
In verses 36-38 he also tells us:
“If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.”
It’s not a bad thing to desire to get married. It’s okay to desire something we were created for.
In Genesis 2:18 it says:
The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”
We were created for relationships. But don’t miss this chapter in your life because you’re too busy desiring the next one.
If it is in God’s will for you to be married, you can trust that it will be wonderful, for it is his beautiful design. Until then… “Run as fast as you can after God, and if someone keeps up, introduce yourself.”- Unknown