So school started yesterday and of course it was a huge epic fail because I forgot to take a picture of my kid’s “1st day of school”. I realized as I drove to work and after seeing all the 1st day of school pictures on social media, that I was a total mom failure. Like, no kidding. This seriously got to me all day. I was at work thinking “What the heck were you thinking?!” “I mean, what’s wrong with you?!” “You had one job today!”

And of course seeing all the over-achieving moms with their first day back extravaganza all fancy and stuff, only made it worse. Sigh. Eye Roll.

I’m horrible, don’t judge me.

The truth is, let’s just say it.

Motherhood can sometimes feel like a competition.

We like other moms to think our houses are always nice and clean, we never scream at our kids, etc. When I see other moms at the grocery store with their perfect make-up, high-heels, perfectly behaved kids, buggy full of organic food, walking gracefully and smiling…

I’m like… “How the heck does she do that?!” I’m so hating.

For any mother, especially being a single parent, doing the work that was meant for two, and trying to look graceful doing it, well, its exhausting!

Sometimes we set these unrealistic standards and we feel like complete mom failures if we fall short of them. So I want to make some confessions for any mommas out there that feel like they’re not living up to their perfect mom expectations:

One time I found a banana that my kids had left in my purse. I don’t know how long it had been there. I still ate it.

Sometimes I take my kids to the movies and act like I’m watching the movie, but I’m secretly taking a nap. When I wake up I’m like “man, this is a good movie, right guys?”

I never use an iron in my house, ever. If something is wrinkled, I stick it in the dryer.

Sometimes I leave clothes in our washer so long I have to wash it again.

Some nights I’m so exhausted I don’t take off my make-up and I re-wear it the next day.

Yes I do use the 5 second rule with food. (Hey! Food is expensive when you’re a single parent!)

I wait until my kids go to bed so I can eat  my snacks without sharing.

I have a “laundry” chair in my room. It’s full of laundry that never gets put up.

When my kids put an empty gallon of milk in the fridge, I buy a box of candy, eat it, and put the empty box in the fridge so they can feel  my pain.

When my kids upset me in public I smile while muttering through my teeth everything I will do to them when we get home.

I probably get more cleaning done in the 5 minutes before someone comes over then I do in the whole week.

I have lied about my kid’s ages so their food can be cheaper.

I go to the “kids eat free” places like there’s no tomorrow.

Sometimes when I drive home I take the “long way” before picking up my kids and use that time to make phone calls before the craziness in my backseat begins.

When I go to the store by myself I pretend it’s a mini vacation.

More than once I have bought store-bought cookies for a “home-made” bake sale. It’s all good.

Despite all these mom fails,  I look at my children and realize the smart, funny, noble human beings they are and I can’t help but just cry and thank God for blessing me beyond what I deserve. God knew exactly what He was doing when He made me their mom. They were made for me, and I was made for them.

Motherhood has taught me more than any experience (good and bad) I have had in this life. Not many things can compare to a mother’s love. Despite my many fears and doubts, and the days when I beat myself up for getting everything wrong… I know in my own crazy way I am doing the best I can to point my little ones to Christ. Every day I see their love for others and their love for God. I see them grow into wonderful human beings who shine bright with the Love of Jesus.

I know I must be doing something right.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” 

– Proverbs 31:25-30 ❤

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