A broken heart. Gosh, I hate those. If you live on Planet Earth you’ve probably had one. You know the ones where you feel like your world has crumbled and you will never get over someone. When you feel like you can’t see your future without them in it? When you feel like your heart drops to your stomach every time you see that person and you can’t be with them? (Excuse me I’m a bit dramatic) I’ve had a few in my lifetime, and BOY do they hurt. One heart-break in specific I had, I thought I could never get over, it felt like an eternity before my heart was able to heal. But why do heart breaks hurt so much? Could it be that we are so desperate to be loved that we give all of ourselves away to that person in hopes that they will do the same? We give them our time, affection, and in many cases even give up our friends, family, dreams, and future plans. What we don’t realize is that every time we fall in love or we are in a relationship, we give up a little piece of our heart to that person. Maybe you are not a dramatic, hopeless romantic who falls hopelessly in love and gives all of themselves in relationships. Not all of us are that way. But either way, we’ve all experienced heart-break. Take a moment to reflect. Are you looking for that person to fulfill the longing in your heart? You see, a lot of us look for love, attention, approval or acceptance and we look for someone to “complete” us. We’ve all heard the saying right? “I found my other half”. The problem with that is, God is the one who created our hearts, He is the only one who can fulfill it. He alone can complete us. Think of your heart as a puzzle. Every time you date someone and it doesn’t work out, you’re giving away a part of yourself, a piece of the puzzle. Later on down the road, when you do find the right one, you will have nothing else to give. You will have given away so much of yourself that you have no more to offer. Is that what we want our future husband/wife to have? Our leftovers? Our distorted version of love? Our “I’ve been hurt in the past, so now you’re gonna pay for it” baggage? After so many heart breaks our hearts start to harden, and if the right one does come along, you will have your guard so high up you will not allow them to come in. The key thing in relationships, in any relationship, whether it be friendship, family, or dating, is you have to love God above all else. Only from Him can we learn the ability to love. After all, there is no greater love than His. Second of all, you have to love yourself. Every single part of yourself. Even the parts that are not so pretty and wish you could change. Love yourself. Now, by love yourself, I don’t mean “Be obsessed with yourself and fill up social media news feeds with your selfies” love yourself. I mean love yourself despite your flaws, but never stop making room for improvement. So, if you’re struggling with heart-break please remember these things:
1. Although it seems like the end of the world, it isn’t. It is only a chance at a new beginning.
2. Although it seems like an eternity (and it will seem that way) please know your heart does and will heal.
3. Take the time you are hurting as an opportunity to improve yourself. (Although chocolate and wine might help, I highly consider you make healthier choices or you will end up thirty pounds heavier and single.)
Wait did I just describe my life?
4. Do not jump into a relationship to “rebound” from the previous one that failed. This will not make it better, this will only make things worse.
It is all about perspective. I’m not saying a good crying session won’t help but don’t dwell there. Have yourself a good cry and get up and keep going. We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can control our reaction to our circumstances. How will you handle a broken heart? Although you are allowed a chocolate ice cream phase, do not STAY in the chocolate ice cream phase. Look at heartbreak as a Blessing, it is God’s way of telling you he saved you from the WRONG one.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”- 1 Corinthians 13, 4-8 ❤